Last night my friend calls me up, his voice sqeaking, “Dude, there was a dead rat in my toilet.” All it took was a flush, but he was still having a rough time with the fact that there was a dead varmint in his toilet. I calmly explained that it wasn’t a big deal.

Now, for most people this would have been shocking news. Rat, dead, in a toilet. But in my family lore we’ve had live rats in toilets. Yes, that’s right, a rat came up through the sewers and made it alive into the second story bathroom toilet. Now I’d love to embelish the story, but the last time I heard the infamous toilet rat story I was probably fifteen and the details are scarce at best. However, I do remember the eventual assault on the toilet involved oven mitts, some poporri spray and a tennis racket.

Luckily, they only needed to flush.

Here’s to hoping everyone’s toilets remain rat free.